What the Barber Saw That Night

“How I got here, now that’s a story. You see I was with the town police in the late 70’s, and I was the Assistant Chief when the Chief announced he’d retire. The town council did a straw vote on who would be the next Chief, and I won 3 to 2.

About a month before the official vote, I was cruising late one night and happened to see a light in the woods. I saw it out of the corner of my eye, and I said, what the heck, I’ll see what’s on. If I had the smarts to just keep driving that night…

When I got to that light, I realized that a car had driven off the road and ended up, lucky for the driver, just leaning against a tree. The driver was out of it. Completely. And the driver, it turns out, was the president of the town council.

I put him in the cruiser and took him home. While his wife was cleaning him up and putting him to bed, she was really anxious. ‘What are you going to do about this?’

I said to her, I said that by the time I got to him, her husband (who was clearly way, way over the limit) was no longer driving, so I told her I wouldn’t write him up. I told her that she just HAD to get that car towed out of there before the morning.

But here’s the part that kicks me. When the official vote was taken a month later, I lost 3 to 2. Turns out that the president of the town council had changed his mind and voted against me. That night cost me everything.

So that was it for me. I turned in my badge and picked up my clippers. That’ll be $12…”


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