Fathers and Sons

Yesterday Steve Biddulph, author of “Manhood,” offered the following 3 reflections on fathers and sons at a meeting of The International Boys Schools Coalition:

1. Every boy has a “dream dad” – a father he wants his dad to be. Every father also has a “dream son.”  The dreams, of course, never actually materialize because what you want and what you get are never the same. In time, though, you come to understand that what you end up with is actually better than what you dreamed.

 2. Boys were with men constantly throughout pre-industrial history, a time when the typical adolescent boy would have had 5 men mentor him. The industrial revolution, though, ripped fathers from sons. The result is that, in general, fathers and sons are not close

 3. When reflecting on their relationship with their fathers:

                                       30% say they are “estranged”

                                       30% say their relationship is “prickly”

                                       30% say they have “dutiful” relationship

                                       10% say they have a close relationship.

How different would the world be if all boys could say, “My dad loves me fiercely.”?


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